With a shocking display of strength and daring, the terrorists attacked our perimeter last night. We’re in full lockdown mode here at the Abandon Mythology Command Bunker. All hands are manning their respective battle stations, a bit shaken, but holding firm.



As you can see from this photo, the islamofascists managed to take out one of our external communications networks. Luckily we have backup systems utilizing satellites and the intertoobz. In an appalling sign of just how bold the Muslim menace has become, they cleverly disguised themselves as 30 or 40 teenagers throwing a beer party right next door.

Think about that for a moment. If an attack of this magnitude can happen here in Misery, it can happen literally anywhere. I’m truly frightened. Not so much for myself or my family, but for Amurka.