Our neighbors to the north are caucusing tomorrow night. I feel for them. I've never caucused, but I gather it's some sort of congregate-and-be-counted method of primary election voting. Temperatures are in the single digits tonight here in Misery; it's probably even colder in Iowa. And none of the candidates from either major party seem to be creating much heat either. I'd have trouble making myself venture out in the cold for any of them.

The Republican ballot is just a mess. Iowa Republicans appear to be looking for a candidate who'll give them maximum reassurance. The last several polls I've seen have it becoming a two-whores race between Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney; a soft-spoken Baptist minister and a flip-flopping, rich, pretty Mormon; a man who specializes in telling people everything is going to be all right and a man who will tell any one pretty much any thing they want to hear.

It gets worse back in the pack though. Behind those two you have John McCain and Fred Thompson; two doddering fools more old and tired than the lies they peddle about tax cuts increasing federal revenue. Thompson in particular is just phoning it in.

Bringing up the rear are Rudy Giuliani and Ron Paul. Rudy is fading fast, the more Iowa Republicans learn about him, the less they like. Pro-choice. Pro-gay rights. Serial adulterer. And probably dirty. Can't hide all that behind 9/11. Then you've got Ron Paul, the only Republican to speak any truths at all about Iraq and the War on Terra. Raising a ton of money and going nowhere fast. Fox News has decided not to let him participate in the next debate. Apparently he's a distraction to their propaganda campaign, even though he's pretty racist and even kookier than the other candidates on some issues, particularly taxes. I often wonder who will pick up Paul's young, anti-war supporters when he leaves the race.

On the Democratic side, Hillary Clinton has fallen back enough to make things interesting. Iowa is now a three-way race between her, Barack Obama and John Edwards. Bill Richardson and Joe Biden have just about fallen off the charts; Dennis Kucinich, Chris Dodd and Mike Gravel are already off, if they were ever on.

Of all the candidates, I most like Dennis Kucinich. (Honestly, how could a lefty like me not like a guy who wants to create a Department of Peace?) But of the five candidates from both parties with a reasonable shot at winning Iowa and gaining some momentum heading into New Hampshire, I only see one who could possibly be a good president, and that's John Edwards. I think he is the only candidate both willing and able to start nudging this country back to the left, where I believe it most urgently needs to go. But I'm worried about his ability to stand up to the right-wing-noise-machine in the general election. I don't recall him drawing any blood as the vice-presidential nominee 4 years ago, and I'd bet money this election will be even nastier than the last.

So, I guess it's a good thing I don't live in Iowa. I probably wouldn't even bother to put on my caucusing shoes.