A Son
11/17/07 11:28
This is Peyton Robert taking his first peek at the
world a couple of weeks ago. (I've been busy.) By all
accounts he was, and remains, unimpressed.
At first, when my old friend Scott told me he was going to become a father at the ripe old age of 44, I was not happy for him. I remember thinking: Better you than me, buddy.
Of course I was looking through the eyes of someone who, along with my wife, has spent the last 15 years hauling the three pups from our second litter — and all their stuff — around. The thought of having another baby at this point in my life makes me want to hide under the bed.
But the difference for Scott is he's a first-time father. His back is not yet stooped and his face is not yet worn. He wanted this to happen. He did this on purpose. In short, he doesn't have a clue what he's just stepped in, hasn't even caught a whiff of the smell yet. It should be fun watching his enlightenment over the next few years.
Like most parents, I'm sure Scott will just hate it when people tell him how to raise his son. So in the spirit of our friendship, I'm going to get my 0.02$ worth of unsolicited advice in early.
So here it is, Scott, plain and simple: You will fuck this up. Many times and in many ways. As a father, at any given moment you will be required to furnish your son with knowledge and discipline; love and respect; humor and humility; scorn and trust and the multitude of other ingredients that make up the man he will eventually become. The difficulty lies in choosing which particular ingredient(s) and what particular amount(s) for any given situation. Expect to make mistakes. Kids don't come with instructions and there's really no such thing as an expert parent.
I have, however, gleaned a couple of basic truths about sons as I've stumbled and bumbled my own way through fatherhood. They are:
Other than that, old buddy, I got nothing. If he turns out like his dad, that'll be just fine.
At first, when my old friend Scott told me he was going to become a father at the ripe old age of 44, I was not happy for him. I remember thinking: Better you than me, buddy.
Of course I was looking through the eyes of someone who, along with my wife, has spent the last 15 years hauling the three pups from our second litter — and all their stuff — around. The thought of having another baby at this point in my life makes me want to hide under the bed.
But the difference for Scott is he's a first-time father. His back is not yet stooped and his face is not yet worn. He wanted this to happen. He did this on purpose. In short, he doesn't have a clue what he's just stepped in, hasn't even caught a whiff of the smell yet. It should be fun watching his enlightenment over the next few years.
Like most parents, I'm sure Scott will just hate it when people tell him how to raise his son. So in the spirit of our friendship, I'm going to get my 0.02$ worth of unsolicited advice in early.
So here it is, Scott, plain and simple: You will fuck this up. Many times and in many ways. As a father, at any given moment you will be required to furnish your son with knowledge and discipline; love and respect; humor and humility; scorn and trust and the multitude of other ingredients that make up the man he will eventually become. The difficulty lies in choosing which particular ingredient(s) and what particular amount(s) for any given situation. Expect to make mistakes. Kids don't come with instructions and there's really no such thing as an expert parent.
I have, however, gleaned a couple of basic truths about sons as I've stumbled and bumbled my own way through fatherhood. They are:
The way you treat his mother is the way he will treat women.
The way you treat him is the way he will treat those weaker than himself. It's important that he learn the meaning of altruism.
Other than that, old buddy, I got nothing. If he turns out like his dad, that'll be just fine.
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