The holiday season is a stressful time, and it's especially bad for those of us with addictive personalities. It's a time when we often seek solace in our substance of choice. A dangerous time when use can quickly become abuse, addictions can rage out of control and destroy our lives.

Most years I can tough it out, remain at least somewhat functional and make it through to the new year, where I invariably make the same old resolutions to put an end to this madness once and for all. But this year is worse than most. Much worse. My body is ravaged and my mind is a wasteland. There are days when I drink a whole bottle and still I want more.



The first step in any program is to admit you can no longer control your addiction. What I've done to myself is bad enough, but it's what I've done to my children that is unforgiveable. They know what's going on. The hurt look on their faces when they come home from school to find yet another empty bottle is devastating. The sadness in their eyes haunts my dreams.