I'm Voting For The Coffee-With-Cream Colored Guy
07/21/08 21:09
As I mentioned in my last post, I believe Americans
are ready for change, and I believe they are looking
for a leader they can believe in to bring about that
change. I am, however, still a long way from
convinced that Barack Obama is the man for that job.
He was certainly not my first choice, or even my
second, but I am absolutely going to vote
for him this November. The only alternative is to
watch my country continue spiraling down the toilet,
burning up all our resources pretending to rule the
world.
If that's not enough of a reason to vote for Obama for president, I can always fall back on all the lying, hate-filled, fear-mongering e-mails I've been receiving these past several months. Even my mother sends me these damn things. (They've slowed down considerably of late, I think due to my tendency to hit "Reply To All" and go a little nuts on them.) Anyone who scares the right-wing this badly needs to be placed in a position of authority just to see if they all die from the dehydration caused by their constant pants-shitting hysteria.
Everything about Obama scares these assholes. He's a Muslim!! No, he's a Christian, but he's the wrong kind of Christian! He's a black Christian!! He's a double-secret Muslim!! He's too black, he'll make us pay slavery reparations!! He's not black enough!! His wife is an uppity negro!! Can't you see?!! His last name is only one letter different from Osama!! He's obviously a terrorist sympathizer, his middle name is Hussein!! I've even come up with my own bumper sticker in honor of that last one. Check it out:
And honestly, even if he turns out to be nothing more than a mediocre president, that's still far better than we've had for the last 8 years. If the only thing he accomplishes is getting us out of Iraq, he'll have done more for this country than dubya ever dreamed of.
If that's not enough of a reason to vote for Obama for president, I can always fall back on all the lying, hate-filled, fear-mongering e-mails I've been receiving these past several months. Even my mother sends me these damn things. (They've slowed down considerably of late, I think due to my tendency to hit "Reply To All" and go a little nuts on them.) Anyone who scares the right-wing this badly needs to be placed in a position of authority just to see if they all die from the dehydration caused by their constant pants-shitting hysteria.
Everything about Obama scares these assholes. He's a Muslim!! No, he's a Christian, but he's the wrong kind of Christian! He's a black Christian!! He's a double-secret Muslim!! He's too black, he'll make us pay slavery reparations!! He's not black enough!! His wife is an uppity negro!! Can't you see?!! His last name is only one letter different from Osama!! He's obviously a terrorist sympathizer, his middle name is Hussein!! I've even come up with my own bumper sticker in honor of that last one. Check it out:
And honestly, even if he turns out to be nothing more than a mediocre president, that's still far better than we've had for the last 8 years. If the only thing he accomplishes is getting us out of Iraq, he'll have done more for this country than dubya ever dreamed of.
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Chicken Tikka Masala For Breakfast
07/28/08 09:19
Flipping through the channels yesterday morning I
happened upon George Stephanopoulos tonguing the
underside of John McCain's scrotum interviewing John McCain. I don't
know why, but I went ahead and watched the whole
thing knowing full well that I was wasting my
time. McCain has hitched his campaign wagon to
The Surge, and our nation's press seems
content to let the old fool prattle on and on
about having been "right" about it, without once
questioning the illogic and inconsistency of his
claims. Check out this answer to questions
regarding troop withdrawals from Iraq; keep in
mind, these are consecutive and
uninterrupted statements from the man who
would be our next preznit:
Okay, so far, so good. Nothing new here, right? Just the same old line dubya and the neocons have been parroting for years now. We can't leave until victory. Let's just set aside for now the fact that nobody knows what victory in Iraq looks like because our leaders have steadfastly refused to define it, and watch as McCain begins to flail about contradicting himself:
That's right. First McCain says we can't leave until we win, and then, with his very next breath, claims we have won. And George Stephanopoulos just sat there smiling, seemingly basking in McCain's wisdom as he continued:
Excuse me Senator, did you say "would have" helped him get the nomination? You are aware that he actually won the nomination, almost certainly because of his position on Iraq, aren't you? Seriously, you know that right?
Indeed. So unpopular that you, uh, won your party's nomination also? And rather quickly at that. How very unpleasant that must have been for you.
Sigh. Haven't yet won, have won, winning. It's sad when the mind goes.
And since we didn't do what Senator Obama wanted done, none of those things happened, right? There has been no chaos, no genocide, no Iranian influence, and al Qaeda, well they are just a distant memory. No, really:
That last whopper had me yelling at my teevee, but not only did Stephanopoulos let it go by unchallenged, he let McCain repeat it just moments later:
So there you have it. According to John McCain, it's all peace and prosperity and lemonade stands in the shade now for Iraq. Because John McCain was right about The Surge, we have won in Iraq. However, since Barack Obama opposed The Surge we cannot set a date for our troops to leave Iraq until we win. But we've already won. Unless Barack Obama is elected president, in which case we lose, because John McCain is the only man capable of leading us to the victory we've already won. Got it?
When, oh when, will someone, anyone, in our lapdog press corps call John McCain on this bullshit? His entire campaign is now based on the outright lie that The Surge solved all of America's Iraq problems. The truth is, Iraq is right back where it was before The Surge, with the exception that there are a lot fewer Sunnis there now. All The Surge accomplished (other than letting dubya continue with his failed policies and pass the cleanup onto the next administration) was to allow the Shia majority in Iraq to finish the sectarian cleansing of Baghdad and other mixed Sunni/Shia areas. And what happens when those 2 million or so displaced Sunnis try to return home to reclaim their lives and property? Shit, meet fan. And if John McCain is president when it happens, it'll be Surge 2.0 The Staying.
Oh, well, look. Anything is a good timetable that is dictated by conditions on the ground. Anything is good.
But the timetable is dictated, not by a artificial date, but by the conditions on the ground, the conditions of security.
Okay, so far, so good. Nothing new here, right? Just the same old line dubya and the neocons have been parroting for years now. We can't leave until victory. Let's just set aside for now the fact that nobody knows what victory in Iraq looks like because our leaders have steadfastly refused to define it, and watch as McCain begins to flail about contradicting himself:
And by the way, our ambassador to Iraq basically said we have succeeded. We have succeeded in this strategy.
That's right. First McCain says we can't leave until we win, and then, with his very next breath, claims we have won. And George Stephanopoulos just sat there smiling, seemingly basking in McCain's wisdom as he continued:
Now, look. Senator Obama doesn't understand. He doesn't understand what's at stake here. And he chose to take a political path that would have helped him get the nomination of his party.
Excuse me Senator, did you say "would have" helped him get the nomination? You are aware that he actually won the nomination, almost certainly because of his position on Iraq, aren't you? Seriously, you know that right?
I took a path that I knew was unpopular, because I knew we had to win in Iraq.
Indeed. So unpopular that you, uh, won your party's nomination also? And rather quickly at that. How very unpleasant that must have been for you.
And we are winning in Iraq.
Sigh. Haven't yet won, have won, winning. It's sad when the mind goes.
And if we'd done what Senator Obama wanted done, it would have been chaos, genocide, increased Iranian influence, perhaps al Qaeda establishing a base again.
And since we didn't do what Senator Obama wanted done, none of those things happened, right? There has been no chaos, no genocide, no Iranian influence, and al Qaeda, well they are just a distant memory. No, really:
Now we have a stable ally in the region, and it is not based on any date.
That last whopper had me yelling at my teevee, but not only did Stephanopoulos let it go by unchallenged, he let McCain repeat it just moments later:
Now, the benefits are enormous of a stable ally in the region, of a country that is a friend of ours, a brake on Iranian influence -- certainly a brake on al Qaeda and other jihadist organizations.
So there you have it. According to John McCain, it's all peace and prosperity and lemonade stands in the shade now for Iraq. Because John McCain was right about The Surge, we have won in Iraq. However, since Barack Obama opposed The Surge we cannot set a date for our troops to leave Iraq until we win. But we've already won. Unless Barack Obama is elected president, in which case we lose, because John McCain is the only man capable of leading us to the victory we've already won. Got it?
When, oh when, will someone, anyone, in our lapdog press corps call John McCain on this bullshit? His entire campaign is now based on the outright lie that The Surge solved all of America's Iraq problems. The truth is, Iraq is right back where it was before The Surge, with the exception that there are a lot fewer Sunnis there now. All The Surge accomplished (other than letting dubya continue with his failed policies and pass the cleanup onto the next administration) was to allow the Shia majority in Iraq to finish the sectarian cleansing of Baghdad and other mixed Sunni/Shia areas. And what happens when those 2 million or so displaced Sunnis try to return home to reclaim their lives and property? Shit, meet fan. And if John McCain is president when it happens, it'll be Surge 2.0 The Staying.